Do I look like Augustus Gloop?!?

Back off Oompa Loompa's of the SJC airport! I'm not Augustus Gloop or Charlie Bucket. I'm just a guy trying to get past you as I go through security. So enough of your "How's the weather up there?" and "Gee, you're really tall..." comments. Hurray, you win the award for pointing out the obvious!

Yeah, I've heard them all before, and quite frankly I've got a thick skin because this stuff has never really bothered me. But as I sat in line and endured the same comments from the Starbucks lady I decided I've had enough. On a rainy day like today where I'm wet from parking the car and I've got a flight ahead of me to the land of the longhorn, back up and mind your p's and q's. Do you want me to ask you why you're so short and stocky?

If I don't get my exit row seat on this full flight I'll probably find the shortest person sitting in that damn row and give them a major case of stink eye. It's one thing to have somebody of smaller stature draft behind me on the bike, but dare you take my exit row seat, then we've got a problem that will need to be settled on the landing strip.

Enough of this piss'n'vinigar from me, time to get back to more important things...