Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Holiday Party Space Invaders

'Tis the season of finding your weekend evenings being completely booked with parties. Sure, the economy has put a damper on those corporate parties. But that's fine with me as I never really found them to be too much fun, except for people watching as you see the drunk intern hooking up with the recently divorced Director of Operations. However, I will give credit to a former employer for allowing me to win a Playstation 2 at a holiday party.

With this change in the holiday party landscape, it's still with a sigh of "Ok, I guess I'll come along" that there are still individuals throwing their own parties. Don't get me wrong, some are great and I really look forward to them, but others are dull to the point I'd rather just sit in the corner and play with my iPhone. And to those hosts of the boring parties, trust me, your "interesting" guests don't really get more interesting if you pump more booze into them. I'll still think their boring and bordering on the edge of stupid as they zoom past the 0.08 blood alcohol limit.

Maybe you've encountered this species of people at parties. For some reason they like to come out most during this time of year. They are the Space Invaders. This type of human form of the classic Atari game aren't easily detected when they walk in the room. They look just like any other party-goer; however, you quickly will learn young Jedi. As you engage them in conversation they slowly move closer, closer, and closer into your own personal space. Next thing you know you start to feel uncomfortable for no apparent reason other than this space invader who's now ten inches away from your face.

I don't know about you, but I need my space. Good thing I'm tall and it's usually not an issue, but when you're sitting on a bar stool the playing field gets leveled in a hurry. Those space invaders zoom right in and don't even give me room to stand up.

There has to be some common characteristics for people like this. At least I've got plenty of holiday opportunities at parties to try and find the genetic defect that causes humans to mutate into these space invaders.


Anonymous said...

The "close talker". Never a favorite of mine. That along with the person in the checkout line, who moves up every single inch to get right up on you...as if that will speeed up the checkout process.....

Manley Man said...

Oh yes.

And don't get me started on how these traits are shared across different ethnic groups. I had a bad day taking my daughter to school as every stereotype from every ethnic group was on display from behind their steering wheel as they were delivering their children to school.

Chris said...

Although your outlook reads as bleak and grim, I feel your pain. The worst part is when you assert yourself in any way against such violators, you are made to be the asshole. The most frustrating of such scenarios occurs at family events. A friend of uncle whoever's stays in your grill all night, yet you still feel somewhat obligated to listen. I am glad I'm not doing anything for Christmas this year.

Manley Man said...

Another thing I forgot to mention was how a space invader at a party can turn other people over to the dark side.

I was being assaulted by a space invader while I was sitting in a chair. I ended up leaning way back and the space invader decided my knee was a great place for them to keep placing their hand on me.

Next thing I know, the person on the other side of me, who is not a known space invader, decides that my knee is a good place for him too.

All to quickly I'm now being tag-teamed on each side by space invaders thinking a pat on my knee is the equivalent to a pat on the back.